The Only One Who Knows
by recumbentgoat
Summary: McCoy struggles to tell the truth to Uhura while she recovers from the Nomad’s attack. So he decides to sing her a song instead. McCoy's POV. Spock and Uhura are just getting closer, but aren't officially together. Previous: Ride or Die Next: KrismasiBusu


**Character/Pairing:** McCoy, Uhura, Spock

**Rating:** K+

**Summary:** McCoy struggles to tell the truth to Nyota while she recovers from the Nomad's attack. So he decides to sing her a song instead.

**Warning:** emo!Bones. Song!fic.

**A/N:** This references the episode The Changeling where Uhura's mind is wiped by the Nomad. Needless to say, I subscribe to the theory that her mind wasn't erased but rather parts of her brain got switched off. This shows Spock and Uhura just starting to get closer, but not officially together yet. The song is by the White Stripes: The Same Boy You've Always Known. Obviously, I've messed with the timing since Nyota's recovery takes place over several days, not an hour. lol

**ETA: **I've recently made a fanvideo of the same name that I posted to youtube. You can view it on my wordpress homepage which is found on my profile. Look for the fic title under 'Categories'.

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Seeing Nyota get carried into Sickbay wasn't something he saw every day. In fact, it was something he never wanted to see. Physically, she was fine. But then again, it had been her mind that had been affected. Later, Jim would tell him that everyone on the bridge had thought that she'd been killed on the spot by Nomad's ray.

Maybe it was a fate worse than death. To wake up and not know who you were or what kind of person. He guessed it wouldn't be such a bad thing if it happened to someone bad. Someone who needed to be wiped clean. But not Nyota. Nyota was everything good and bright in the universe. And for someone like him, someone who had closed himself off for so long from the company of good people, of kind and affectionate people like Nyota, it was difficult to take.

He remained optimistic of course. As CMO he really didn't have a choice but to remain positive about Nyota's recovery. To Jim, to his staff and especially to Nyota. But seeing her blank expression when she looked at him was like a knife to the gut. And it twisted whenever he caught her watching him with a puzzled crinkle in her brow.

So, he let Christine take over all of the re-education and ignored the surprise at his sudden hands-off approach. He gave no reason, he couldn't say it was because he was a friend and too close. Christine was her friend too. Hell, the whole ship was friends with Nyota. Even the damn Vulcan was hovering around in Sickbay.

But he hung back, observing her progress. Making the encouraging remark. Waiting to see if she looked at him like she used to.

One night, after visiting hours were over, he came back to Sickbay with his guitar in hand. She smiled at him expectantly, used to him now checking-in with her. He smiled back, pleased with her reaction. He noticed that she was reading a communications journal.

'Let me sing for you. I think it would help you relax after all the pushing you've done. It's not going to come back all at once. Or as fast as you want it.' _And not as fast as I want it._

She sighed, but was still smiling, 'Okay, Dr. McCoy, I guess I can take a break.'

'Leonard, Ny. You used to call me Len.' _Back when you remembered me. Back when you'd call me handsome._

'Ok, Len.' She switched off and pushed away the monitor, settling back against the pillows.

He sat down in a chair next to the bed, a place that had been filled with a steady stream of well-wishing friends since her stay in Sickbay began. He strummed the first chords of the song and thought it was an apt choice, prescient even, given the situation he faced now with his beloved friend.

_You fell down of course_

_and then you got up of course_

_and started over_

_forgot my name of course_

_then you started to remember_

_pretty tough to think about_

She smiled a little as he sang. Though he doubted that she would remember this song. Or the others he had sung to her before the accident. She had enjoyed this artist and he had fun teaching her a few of his other ones. He remembered the first time he taught her to sing another old song about a psychotic killer and how they giggled nervously in the recreation room when Spock came over to inquire on the meaning of the lyrics.

_You're looking down again_

_and then you look me over_

_we're laying down again_

_on a blanket in the clover_

_the same boy you've always known_

_well I guess I haven't grown_

_same boy you've always known_

_same boy you've always known_

She had remarked back then that she often thought of him as very boy-ish, despite his 'grouchiness' as she put it. It surprised him, to hear someone call him that to his face and he was speechless for a few moments. But he couldn't stop the warm feeling that had spread in his chest as he smiled at her. It was interesting what this woman could see in others. Their next shore leave, he had asked her out to dinner. And it was true, despite her amnesia, he was still the same, but he knew that she wasn't.

_Think of what the past did_

_it coulda lasted_

_so put it in your basket_

_I hope you know a strong man_

_who can lend you a hand_

_lowerin' my casket_

He lowered his voice when her eyes drifted shut and he looked up at the readout above her bed, something that was second nature to him. She had exhausted herself every day with reading and talking and visiting. She needed to rest as much as possible and he'd make sure she wasn't overtaxed.

As independent as she was, he couldn't help but feel protective of her. Theirs was a fast and easy friendship almost as soon as they met, finding common ground initially in music and photography. Then, she got him dancing again and he got her to loosen up and party once in a while. Reminding her that her days of vigilant study at the Academy were over and she had many years ahead of boring vacuum to slog through. They were flirtatious with each other, and although it was done in a teasing way, they both could feel the sexual tension build between them.

He had eased off their budding friendship, wondering if he was getting in too deep, worried that he would hurt the friendship if he pursued her romantically. But it was easy to throw caution to the wind with her. After the last formal function, he had screwed his courage to the sticking place and kissed her tentatively after escorting her to her door. She had returned his kiss sweetly and he recalled the way she filled his arms, her hands reaching up to stroke the back of his neck and shoulders, how she stared up at him with those deep, warm eyes of hers and smiled. Like a bumbling fool, he apologized, suddenly seized with doubt. Not wanting to hurt her like he had his ex-wife. Afraid of ruining something that was already very beautiful. She had only shushed him, her hand cradling his face, the pad of her thumb brushing over his lower lip and thanked him for such an enjoyable evening.

He heard the doors to Sickbay swoosh open and looked up to see Spock enter with his lyre under his arm.

_I thought this is just today_

_and soon you'd be returning_

_the coldest blue ocean water_

_cannot stop my heart and mind_

_from burning_

_everyone who's in the know says_

_that's exactly how it goes_

_and if there's anything good about me_

_I'm the only one who knows_

She was asleep by the time he finished singing softly to her. He had kissed her some time ago and they hadn't talked of it since. He wasn't even sure if she'd been interested, they had merely gone back to the laid back friendship they had before. Now that she had this to get over, he didn't know if he should try to remind her....

No, perhaps he wouldn't remind her. Perhaps it was better this way, and if the presence of Spock by her bedside was any indication, there was, indeed, a stronger man that could be there for her.

'Visiting hours are over Mr. Spock.'

'With the exception of yourself, of course.'

'Being CMO has its privileges.'

'Indeed. May I join you?'

'Yeah, ok.'

'That was an interesting song you were singing to Lt. Uhura. You often sing unusual songs to her. May I inquire as to the meaning behind this one?'

'It's about a man who loves a woman, even though she forgets about him. He keeps loving her even though she's falling in love with someone else.' He studied her for a moment before looking over at the taciturn Vulcan sitting next to him.

Spock watched Nyota while he lightly strummed his lyre, 'I see. That seems to be a common theme in popular human songs.'

'That's 'cuz it happens all the time, Spock.'


End file.
